I never knew an epiphany would come in the form of a brewery tour.
It happened on a laid-back Tuesday morning during my trip to the Sierra Nevada brewery in Chico, California. Known for their production of beer in the region, my roommate and I decided to head there and go on the tour. We were in the final room of the tour, sampling the seven selections of the day. Each day the bartender comes up with quick-witted descriptors for each beer sampled. We were on our fourth beer sample and I couldn’t stop laughing. Because on this particular day, I found a beer described as my personality.
As I looked upon the chalkboard there it was, in plain sight. The torpedo beer and the the right the descriptor, “Aggressive yet balanced. Caramel, earthy, and soft.” As soon as I saw this descriptor, my mind immediately flashed back to a conversation with a friend two months prior. He looked at me and described me as “aggressively tender.” Initially, I didn’t know what to do with this verbage. After a bit of conversation, I realized he was quite attune in his descriptors. Most of my life, I have placed my strength to the forefront when interacting with others. I’ve always wanted a place at the decision-making table, to harness my leadership potential, and to put strategies in place for transformation and restoration. However, for most, this was all they saw. There was no tenderness to who I was, the nature of my heart, or the way I carried myself, it was solely brute strength.
But was it really? There was a tenderness within. This tenderness was something that I desperately wanted to be released and to be seen seen. I wasn’t only what I could do, the skillet I brought to the table, or my intellect. This softness was a deep well within me. One I was frequently scared to show, deeply seated in the “what if’s,” teetering back and forth in how far I could go with others.
When I first tasted this beer, I hated it. WIth a bitter aftertaste of hops, I didn’t see the balance in the flavor profile at all. However, after correctly tasting it, allowing it to go through all of my senses, from the aroma of my nose to the jowls of my mouth, I came to love the aggressively balanced flavor. I can’t tell you how many times, where I didn’t leave a good taste in someone’s mouth. There are many times I could have been softer, where I could have risked putting myself out there and allowed my heart to be revealed, where I could have tried a bit of tenderness. I think for many of us our personalities are a beautiful blend of opposites, of paradox, and orthodoxy, that somehow all make sense when melded together.
Maybe there’s a part of yourself you’ve been waiting to be released. A portion of yourself that has been a capped bottle of caramel, earthy, balanced flavors, longing to be opened and delighted in by others. Don’t wait. The tenderness, the balance to your strength, the softness, your intuitive nature, the unveiling of your heart and life, may just be the reason people love you to begin with.